Joann Sfar
2011
100 minutes
It's easy to get a cat to talk--just have it swallow a talking bird. Getting the cat to shut up is a different story. As a former owner of a part-Siamese cat, you are well familiar with this issue.
The second-funniest Jew joke you know is about a talking cat. Or bird. Or whatever animal you like. The funniest thing about jokes is often the structure, not the details. You are remembering this joke while watching The Rabbi's Cat, so in this version it is a cat.
A Jewish man takes in a stray cat and at first he thinks it's a regular cat. But then on Rosh Hashanah he notices the cat rocking back and forth and hears a murmuring sound. He assumes the cat is merely purring, but upon closer approach he hears that the cat is praying. In shock, he approaches the cat and declares, "I can't believe you are praying!" The cat turns to him and says, "Of course I'm praying! It's Rosh Hashanah and I'm an Orthodox Jew!" He asks the cat if he'd like to go to temple, and the cat says, "Yes, please, take me to shul!"So the guy puts the cat into a carrier and takes him to temple. The rabbi is hesitant to let him in with the animal, but he insists, "You're not going to believe this, but my cat is Orthodox and he can talk and he wants to come here and pray." At this point a small crowd is gathering to see what the hubbub is about, and he explains the situation. Everyone scoffs, but the man tells them, "Okay, you're skeptical, but I bet you a thousand dollars that this cat will start praying as soon as I get him inside." So the rabbi reluctantly lets him in with the cat. He takes the cat out of the carrier and...nothing. Like the frog in the Warner Brothers cartoon. The cat just sits there licking his balls. Humiliated, the man stuffs the cat back in the carrier and heads home.
Once he's home he confronts the cat. "What was that?" he complains. "You humiliated me and made me look like an idiot in front of everyone! And I'm out a thousand dollars to boot! I should toss you back out on the street for that!" The cat looks at him and says, "Give me a break, you schmuck! Just think of the odds we're gonna get when you take me back for Yom Kippur!"
It's not the funniest Jew joke you've ever heard, but at least the structure is novel. The funniest Jew joke you've ever heard is the following:
What did the Jewish pedophile say after he lured the child into his van?"Hey...easy on the candy, kid!"
Time to choose something different: