Werner Herzog
1982
158 minutes
You're certainly an opera-lover, but not enough of one to haul a steamship through the Amazon.
The closest you've come to this in real life was the time you decided to move your entire apartment (or as much of it as you could) on foot from your old place to your new place. You happened to have your leases timed so that you were paying rent on two different places at the same time, so you had the luxury of moving from one place to the next in slow motion. Being without a vehicle, you decided to do as much of this as you could on foot, solely for the bragging rights. You did this over the course of two weeks, mostly during your lunch breaks from work.
You had a wheelie cart that you primarily used for laundry and bigger grocery trips that aided you in this purpose (and unfortunately became quite busted up in the process). This was quite useful for hauling your insane amount of books between locations, though it wasn't much help for the two flights of steps down from the old place or the flight of stairs up to the new place. You also physically manhandled many large and unwieldy pieces of furniture, including book cases, all by yourself. Being blessed with a good amount of upper body strength as well as more endurance than sense, this worked for all but they very largest pieces of furniture. Very little ended up broken or damaged. Your belated wife was able to assist with some of the larger items. In the end you did need to rent a van for the mattress and boxsprings and one large dresser, but everything else went on foot.
Throughout your lonely labors, you had a clip-on mp3 player to entertain you that was loaded with the complete works of De La Soul, who had just released their entire catalog as downloadable mp3s shortly prior to your move. You got to hear every single De La Soul song on random repeat several times during your travails. At some point during the process you bit the inside of your bottom lip, which swelled considerably. This was a great annoyance that cast a bit of a shadow on your incredible achievement. You are proud however that at no point did you lose your cool and start yelling at people, and no indigenous workers lost their lives or limbs assisting you in your mad project.
Time to choose something different: