Hack
Patrick Swickard
8.5"x11" paperback, XXX pages
I didn't have enough for a car, what a bummer
I had to get a job driving taxis last summer
All the other drivers knew that my car was spectacular
Cause I had a tight, very bright yellow Acura
Piling in 9 or 10 skins at a time, G
Funny how the honeys with the money always find me
Paying their green to see what color my house is
Feeling like Del cause they would sleep on my couches
I'd charge senior citizens extra, cause they never mention
I'd take all the money from they pension
And I'd drive a blind man around for a while
Even if he only had to travel just a mile, with a smile
And don't let your dog off the leash
Cause if he stepped then I would have to squash the beast
And if you didn't have the right change, don't even ask me
Or I would have ran your ass down with my taxi
- Hieroglyphics
Deliberately unflattering memoir by Baltimore-based writer Patrick Swickard about his experiences driving a taxi in Wisconsin in the early 2000s, back in the days before Uber and Lyft and Google Maps on smartphones. For those who know the author, this will probably answer a lot of questions about “how’d he get to be like that?” For those who don’t, just strap in and enjoy the ride. Or don’t enjoy it—the fare costs the same either way. A cheap pulpy read!